Gestalt Prayer and Relationships
The Gestalt Prayer
Fritz Perls (founder of Gestalt Therapy)
I do my thing
and you do your thing.
I am not in this world
to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world
to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I.
And if by chance
we find each other,it's beautiful,
If not, it can't be helped.
-Perls
I vow neither to be enslaved by anyone’s demands on my life nor to be robbed by their tears. My life is mine, and only I can choose how I want to live.
-Peter Ragnar
The key idea of the statement (Gestalt Prayer), is the focus on living in response to one's own needs, without projecting onto or taking introjects from others. It also expresses the idea that it is by fulfilling their own needs that people can help others do the same and create space for genuine contact; that is, when they "find each other, it's beautiful". independence encourages people to realise that relationships need not be founded on obligation or expectation.
-Wikipedia
The problem, is, after marriage or after awhile together in couple; people begin to feel they "own" the other. That they somehow' possess' the other out of ego needs and jealousy. they see each other as 1 instead of 2 (which they always will be).
This destroys true love and turns it into a conditional love rather than unconditional. The two individuals lose respect for the individuality and free will of thought and movement of their beloved that was there in the beginning. They seek to control, dominate and smother them in their ego made cocoon.Couples that are enlightened do not have this problem. they ALWAYS see each other as individuals first coming together to learn together, share lessons, and IF it becomes time to move on in life (even if they have kids together), they do so with the "spirit' of thank you for sharing my life, thank you for the lessons learned together: for I still will always be there for you and love you unconditionally and now I say with a truth filled heart: 'I love you and I set you free"! So things are not DONE to us; they merely happen. Change is the ONE constant in life and impermanence a fact we were born with. (so we do not become stagnant by evolutionary standards).
That is a HEAVY place to arrive at in an ego dominated couple relationship. It is time for the world to turn out "new thinking" couples to lead the way for the rest of humankind.The vibration of the world is changing now and requires this new way of loving for the advancement of all!
-S.Swartz
True Source- which is within - doesn't care about covenenants. Covenants are conscious agreements made to bring about organized energy, because chaotic energy does not feel good to the human being. :-) We like to know what's going to happen.....later. It is a control mechanism in many cases, for some entities. In other cases, agreements, like boundaries, can be healhy, when offered from a place of self love and love for others equally. Without equal balance of love of self, and love of others, agreements are doomed to failure. Anything not in balance will fall away eventually.
I'm sure you are aware that we all are here to interact with others to the extent that we learn certain lessons which are all geared towards us realizing our own Infinite Autonomy and Beingness , and paradoxically at the same time bring us to the Reality of complete Unity of cosmic consciousness . In this unity there is no need to take hostages , nor to be taken as a hostage . Like I said, WE take no prisoners, especially ourselfs. We are only with and around people for AS LONG AS THE LESSON NEEDS TO BE LEARNED and that stage of growth achieved and then it is TIME to move on . What has been created in LOVE is EVERLASTING and cannot be destroyed , but EVERYTHING is subject to change , in fact "Change" is the only absolute spiritual axiom . And just to the extent that we RESIST change , then we are guaranteed to manufacture SUFFERING for ourselves , and no doubt probably others as well , as one person has a great effect on those around them . Rumor has it that each person generally effects the lives of at least 200 people around them , if not more . So if one chooses to be free and seek to evolve and grow into their own infinite beingness , then by this choice that person has to some degree influenced a collective move for many others towards their own spiritual freedom . How does it get any better than that ? I encourage you to Be an Infinite Being and not resist change .
So, if it is time to move on, move on. No guilt. But we can move on in a way- or leave in a way that makes sense for everyone. Love and care and peaceful expression is ideal. That is not always going to be possible when there are energies in play that do not honor your person. In that case, you can offer a blessing of love, and take steps to undock your boat. That is likely going to be painful to the other person, ironically, but if you have offered fair play, and from self love as well as love for them, then you would be DISHONORING yourself by allowing misaligned energy to continue to hang in your field.
-NING Reiki Forum Owner Sherry
Fritz Perls (founder of Gestalt Therapy)
I do my thing
and you do your thing.
I am not in this world
to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world
to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I.
And if by chance
we find each other,it's beautiful,
If not, it can't be helped.
-Perls
I vow neither to be enslaved by anyone’s demands on my life nor to be robbed by their tears. My life is mine, and only I can choose how I want to live.
-Peter Ragnar
The key idea of the statement (Gestalt Prayer), is the focus on living in response to one's own needs, without projecting onto or taking introjects from others. It also expresses the idea that it is by fulfilling their own needs that people can help others do the same and create space for genuine contact; that is, when they "find each other, it's beautiful". independence encourages people to realise that relationships need not be founded on obligation or expectation.
-Wikipedia
The problem, is, after marriage or after awhile together in couple; people begin to feel they "own" the other. That they somehow' possess' the other out of ego needs and jealousy. they see each other as 1 instead of 2 (which they always will be).
This destroys true love and turns it into a conditional love rather than unconditional. The two individuals lose respect for the individuality and free will of thought and movement of their beloved that was there in the beginning. They seek to control, dominate and smother them in their ego made cocoon.Couples that are enlightened do not have this problem. they ALWAYS see each other as individuals first coming together to learn together, share lessons, and IF it becomes time to move on in life (even if they have kids together), they do so with the "spirit' of thank you for sharing my life, thank you for the lessons learned together: for I still will always be there for you and love you unconditionally and now I say with a truth filled heart: 'I love you and I set you free"! So things are not DONE to us; they merely happen. Change is the ONE constant in life and impermanence a fact we were born with. (so we do not become stagnant by evolutionary standards).
That is a HEAVY place to arrive at in an ego dominated couple relationship. It is time for the world to turn out "new thinking" couples to lead the way for the rest of humankind.The vibration of the world is changing now and requires this new way of loving for the advancement of all!
-S.Swartz
True Source- which is within - doesn't care about covenenants. Covenants are conscious agreements made to bring about organized energy, because chaotic energy does not feel good to the human being. :-) We like to know what's going to happen.....later. It is a control mechanism in many cases, for some entities. In other cases, agreements, like boundaries, can be healhy, when offered from a place of self love and love for others equally. Without equal balance of love of self, and love of others, agreements are doomed to failure. Anything not in balance will fall away eventually.
I'm sure you are aware that we all are here to interact with others to the extent that we learn certain lessons which are all geared towards us realizing our own Infinite Autonomy and Beingness , and paradoxically at the same time bring us to the Reality of complete Unity of cosmic consciousness . In this unity there is no need to take hostages , nor to be taken as a hostage . Like I said, WE take no prisoners, especially ourselfs. We are only with and around people for AS LONG AS THE LESSON NEEDS TO BE LEARNED and that stage of growth achieved and then it is TIME to move on . What has been created in LOVE is EVERLASTING and cannot be destroyed , but EVERYTHING is subject to change , in fact "Change" is the only absolute spiritual axiom . And just to the extent that we RESIST change , then we are guaranteed to manufacture SUFFERING for ourselves , and no doubt probably others as well , as one person has a great effect on those around them . Rumor has it that each person generally effects the lives of at least 200 people around them , if not more . So if one chooses to be free and seek to evolve and grow into their own infinite beingness , then by this choice that person has to some degree influenced a collective move for many others towards their own spiritual freedom . How does it get any better than that ? I encourage you to Be an Infinite Being and not resist change .
So, if it is time to move on, move on. No guilt. But we can move on in a way- or leave in a way that makes sense for everyone. Love and care and peaceful expression is ideal. That is not always going to be possible when there are energies in play that do not honor your person. In that case, you can offer a blessing of love, and take steps to undock your boat. That is likely going to be painful to the other person, ironically, but if you have offered fair play, and from self love as well as love for them, then you would be DISHONORING yourself by allowing misaligned energy to continue to hang in your field.
-NING Reiki Forum Owner Sherry